"Why you never entered Kumang contest?"

What is Kumang contest? It is a beauty pageant for Dayak women, which usually held prior to or during Gawai festival. Gawai festival is celebration of the end of harvesting season for Dayak, which marks the new year in the Dayak (paddy) calendar. 

I was watching football match with my girlfriends in my parents' hometown last year, when a friend asked why I never joined Kumang contest. I wondered, why did she think that I am fit to enter such competition, or was she merely asking? I did not enter because I thought that I am too short, was too skinny and I do not know how to cat-walking. I should have asked her why she did not then, instead, because she is pretty, tall and intelligent. Now she is a married woman with a daughter. We call her 'hot mama'. She is the one I wrote about in October Bidayuh lady of the Month 2010.  I have another friend, Felicia, (whom I featured in my BFF contest post) who wanted to join Kumang last two years. But she cancelled her plan because she was not ready with the costumes. She was also expecting, but not obvious at that time. She is very pretty and  married, with a daughter. But she is very petite. We call her 'little mama'. My sister also wanted to participate in Kumang contest in our kampong last year, but unfortunately, there were some new rules: a girl who does not reside currently in kampong and of mixed parentage is not eligible to join. My sister would violate both of the rules if she joined. However, I do not think any violation would actually happen if she joined. We are still Dayak! 

Kumang Gawai Kg Pichin Under 18, 2008.

Kumang Gawai Kg Pichin Above 18, 2008.

Kumang Gawai Kg Pichin 2009.
Kumang Gawai Kg Pichin 2010.

Asih-asih nyanda, dayung Bidayuh kai paguh?


5 Deadly Terms Used by Women Including Me

Sad to say that I am like any other women who use these terms:
  1. FINE - this is the word women use to end an argument when they know they are RIGHT & YOU need to SHUT UP. 
  2. NOTHING - means SOMETHING & u need to be WORRIED.
  3. GO AHEAD - this is a dare, not permission, DO NOT DO IT. 
  4. WHATEVER - is a woman's way of saying SCREW YOU. 
  5. THAT'S OK - she is thinking long & hard on HOW & WHEN you will pay for your mistake.

My Brain

Do you understand your own brain?

People say I love to think and taking serious of something trivial. Like understanding your own brain. People might say oh, who cares, all I need is something to eat. Yes, that explains why I took high amount of sugar but still stay in shape, because I use them all for thinking, imagining and being hyper crazy (even though I act like a sloth). I can even forget to take lunch when I am too occupied on something. Luckily, I never skip meal purposely as people use to remind me by taking me out. 

I am right-brained. Unlike the left-brained people who depend on facts, put needs as priority (except for food for some people), think of only important things so they can save sugar in their blood and would go diabetic if they eat donuts, I love to listen to music and sing along, go out watching people pass by, commenting their looks and fashion sense in my mind, thinking where they are going, what kind of people are they, what they are up to and "cuci mata" on pretty girls and attractive guys. I love to "buang masa". Now you can tell how a philosopher is different than a scientist. 

I am also poor in navigating. I will always refuse if people want me to drive to a place that I am not used to although I now that place. I often get lost in a place. I tend to get bored during long lectures and prefer to take classes with a lot of freedom of movement and thought (but not like a discussion or forum about ethics and science). I am a very dreamy person. My classmates might mistakenly thought that I was giving full attention to what teachers were talking in front. I took notes but lost them. I have difficulties in making my mind, sometimes I will think of putting some lipstick and eyeshadows on my mind and curl them perfectly with mascara. This can be a big problem in time sensitive cases.

Some people would think that I fall for practical jokes easily, because I would frown or making idiot "blur" face towards the joker (usually if the joker is left-brained). No offense, but it is an offense to me if you think that I don't get jokes. I am hard to laugh at jokes, I will laugh only if the joke is not funny at all (depends on the scene) or extremely funny. You would see me as boring and innocent at first, so you better make a first move if you are hoping me to not to pretend to be too cool. I am spontaneous and unpredictable. I am not talkative, but I can break the silence so bad. 

I remembered when my former room mate told me to get up from my bed and focus on my revision (she was my senior). But my condition was worse on the desk. I prefer to read while laying down and listening to music. I could not help it. I also remembered when my friend came to my room and watched me editing the photos of my sister. She said,"why are you willing to be bothered by your sister?" Hey, I really loooooove photoshop! I did not say that to her, because I thought that I was probably really weird. I love taking photos, editing photos, drawing, designing, writing stories and handcrafting. I love aesthetics!

I was once thinking that I am a psychic. My sister and some of my friends said that too. That was before I knew about the hemispheric dominance of the brain. People with right brain dominance have strong instincts, intuitive, and tend solve problems on hunches and feelings. Their intuitions are correct most of the times, although they are unexplained. They may also be interested in "the unexplained", such as the mystics, theology, superstitions, and miracles.

There are also persons who can use left and right brain equally, and I think they are usually genius like Einstein and Newton. I see that many men are using their left and right brain almost equally than women. This is maybe due to the difference in hormone dominance in different gender, I think.

Hari Guru

Selamat Hari Guru kepada semua pembaca yang bekerja sebagai guru, termasuklah guru tusyen, guru silat, guru karate, guru Tae Kwan Do, guru piano, dan lain-lain guru. Gayu Guru Gerai Nyamai.

Terkenang pula saya dengan kisah zaman persekolahan menengah dulu. Saya bukanlah pelajar yang sangat bagus dan cemerlang dahulu, tetapi saya pernah menjadi ayam tambatan sekolah. Saya pernah menjadi pelajar kegemaran sesetengah guru, juga pernah menjadi pelajar yang kurang digemari.

Saya dahulu bukan jenis pelajar yang suka berada dalam zon selamat dan melakukan sesuatu demi menambat hati guru. Saya seorang yang gemar membuat sesuatu dengan niat dan minat yang lahir dari dalam hati dan sanggup mengambil risiko hanya untuk melakukan apa yang saya suka. Sebab itulah saya menjadi budak baik pada masa tertentu dan boleh bertukar menjadi degil/nakal. Jadi, saya ingin memohon maaf daripada guru-guru saya atas segala kesilapan saya dan atas kekecewaan terhadap pencapaian saya dahulu. Saya tidak pernah ingin meyakiti hati guru-guru. Saya tidak sengaja sebenarnya. Kalau ada terdetik pun niat berdendam, saya tidak pernah kesampaian melakukannya. Hanyalah amarah darah muda. Itupun saya simpan dalam hati sahaja dan terus dilupakan. (Emo lah pulak...)

Apapun, saya tetap berterima kasih kepada semua guru yang pernah mengajar saya. Bukan senang untuk menjadi guru kerana budak-budak bukannya senang untuk menjadi pelajar. Tanggungjawab guru sangatlah berat, tugas guru juga berbagai-bagai (bukan sekadar mendidik) walaupun guru bekerja setengah hari. Guru  melayani, merawat, mengadili, menilai, menjaga keselamatan, menangkap, membersih, menghias, dan macam-macam lagi. Kepada guru-guru, teruskan melaksanakan tanggungjawab dan memikul amanah anda dengan penuh sabar dan berdedikasi, demi melahirkan insan-insan yang berilmu serta berguna kepada masyarakat.

Building My Self-Esteem

I'm not a girl, not yet a woman. - Britney Spears

Building self-esteem is a part of my journey into womanhood. Being a woman is not an easy process. All normal women faced the same complicated phase which is going through puberty. Then comes another challenge that requires self-esteem, which is the process of adapting to the real world. For many teenagers and young adults this is a pretty tricky area. The need to be more independent, involvement in courtship, finding what to live for, are the things that women must get through in this journey.

If you have low self-esteem you may: not like yourself, be unaware that you do not value who you are, believe you can’t achieve good results at school or elsewhere, live in a world that does not work for you, harm yourself by abusing drugs and alcohol, become self-destructive in other ways and committing suicide. Low self-esteem often makes people do things for the wrong reasons.

For some women who really love and regard themselves highly, I think they are less likely to face difficulties through this journey. I envy those whose talent, great persona and physical beauty are approved by people around them and they really have no problem with self-esteem. Gender equality is not a big issue to me as a nowadays' woman. It is the low self-esteem I faced had became my main problem. By having low self-esteem, people will have low trust towards us, looking down at us and even bully us.

Although I am having low self-esteem, I would always try to think positively. I never destroy myself. I had been bullied in school but I had never been a peer pressure victim. I am a very shy person. However I am not timid, I can say this because as people get to know me, I can speak out and show them what I can really do. It is just that, I don't have the gut to make first move, because I am very pessimistic and thinking that my physical appearance would give a less convincing impression to strangers. Sometimes, my appearance give other people correct predictions. But other times, I can be surprisingly paradoxical (like my voice is very loud despite my petite and weak figure). I am unpredictable.

My dream star is very high. I will continue loving, learning and working as I reach my star. I will prove to everyone who had been doubting my abilities that I can make prominent achievements in my life. 

I am fifty fucking two and I will rock this dress. -Samantha Jones

Petite Ladies

I am 5' 2" or 1.57m tall but I look much shorter than the measurement. I was surprised to know that the curvacious Fergie is as tall as me and Salma Hayek is shorter than me when I browsed on "petite celebrities" in the internet! Plus, Emma Watson and Megan Fox whom I thought very small are much taller than Drew Barrymore.

Ingat, kerendahan tidak menjejaskan kesihatan.
Lady Gaga, 5' 1"
Fergie, 5' 2"
Drew Barrymore, 5' 4"
Hayden Panettiere, 5' 1"
Lucy Hale, 5' 2"
Ashley & Mary-Kate Olsen, 5' 3"
Nicole Richie, 5' 1"
Shakira, 5' 2"
Natalie Portman, 5' 3"
Hayley Williams, 5' 2"
Salma Hayek, 5' 0"
Victoria Beckham, 5' 4"
Jada Pinkett Smith, 5' 1"
Natasha (Miss Borneo Beautiful 2010), 5' 1"


I can't Wait to End My Study!

15 more days to go and I will be free (hopefully) and do whatever I like! I will have 3 more papers to sit and a project report to present. Gawai is less then a month ahead. The holiday spirit is very different than that of Christmas. St. Trinitas Church in Kg Pichin has been demolished and new building is going to be constructed on the same site to replace it. We will have new St. Trinitas Church next year. Gawai festival concerts in Kg Pichin will be held at the new longhouse, which is TAR Longhouse. I hope that it will be merrier than ever. I heard that many of the villagers who work outside the hometown will be coming back for Gawai. It will be like a big reunion! I will be posting the picture of the TAR Longhouse soon.

St. Trinitas Church upon demolishment.

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