Body Weight Problem & Dilemma

Which is better, being fat or skinny? I am glad that most people I have known are still able to think wisely and choose the middle choice which is never mentioned. However, what makes the middle choice very difficult to have is that, it seemed never exist in some peoples' mind, especially girls that are very fond with fashion and modelling. Other thing that makes the "between" skinny and fat become very hard to achive nowadays in my country is the irresistible delicacies that are abundant here. Going to some 'classy' eating outlets like McDonalds, Starbucks and etc. almost every day eating burgers, cheesecakes and drinking soft or creamy beverages seems cool because people can have yummy food and showing off that they are afford to spend there. However, the ordinary eating places or stalls like the mamaks are also selling foods with high calories. Therefore, being overweight is common, even become a norm in our society nowadays. There are no more greeting such as "have you eaten?" (like in the olden days) be heard.

Eat eat eat

I have been in depression because of my weight. For those who ever saw me but never know how my life actually is, you guys might think that I am counting heavily on my weight and starve. I am not, instead, I am in the opposite of that! As what I had posted before, I am wanting badly to gain much weight. I always wonder why there is no meat and fat sticking on my bone. Or is my appetite really small? It is sickening for me to know that those with BMI below 17.5 are anorexic and BMI of under 16 is a benchmark which the WHO consider as starvation. I am not anorexic nor suffering malnutrition! I am still alive, able to carry my luggage upstairs and able to throw a bowling ball on its lane! Many people use to make fun of my petite body. I think they thought that I feel good and being very proud with my size. For the past years, I cried almost every night before sleeping, thinking of myself. I lack of confidence most of the time. I always imagine how am I going to find a job with my kiddish look and how am I going to dress according to my age, and fit in curve showing outfits. I even think about men acceptance towards me and how my sex life will be in the future.

I also think that those fat people that made fun of me were actually feeling very insecure with their own look and tried to make make me look like a poor little thing so that they forget to feel sorry for themselves. Huh! How about the pretty girls that were also making fun of me? I think that they make fun with those who they think are not as perfect as them so that they feel secure that nobody is more perfect! I know that I have a beautiful face and guys are crazy of my smile, and this making it worse. If I did not have it, I think there would be less hurt. Now I realize, it involves insecurity! I met some guys that commented on my body. One of them made fun, but the others 'adviced' me to eat more rice. Anything that come out of a guy's mouth about my weight always make me feel offended although he does not mean to hurt. I am very sensitive about it. To the girls out there who think that they are fat, I tell you, we are the same! We, fat and bony, are sensitive about weight! Do not mock me anymore! Get a life!


Being too fat is not good. It is also not good to be too skinny. You will not glow (berseri-seri) and look like a corpse. What kind of life if you puke out the leaves that you had eaten? It will be just like a life of a cow. However, after the anorexic awareness, some people start to become hypocrite by saying "she's great!" when looking at a picture of a model with fat layers and cellulite. Stop thinking so stupid! Why is there no modesty (kesederhanaan)? Being ideal is the best. Ideal is between fat and skinny to me. It is enough if your weight decreases (for the fatty) or increases (for the skinny) to a simply firm body, without layers of excessive fat on your tummy and back, without flabby arm, and without cellulite. You will even looking more stunning. Having bones protruding everywhere on your body is not important. These are all the indicator of health; that shows you are free from obesity-related diseases. For the natural skinny people who are always been made fun, be strong! Try your best to be healthy and find a partner that accept you for who you are! Eat right and have the fun exercise. The most important is that you are healthy and happy.


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